A Tale of Two Trains

My husband moves at one speed: slow. I’m not sure I’ve ever truly seen him hurry anywhere. He is thorough and calculating…but one would never say quick. I think the house could be on fire and he would first take a shower, clear his throat, blow his nose, brush his teeth, and get dressed before going to grab the fire extinguisher. He would then want to know which child tore the inspection tag off of the extinguisher as he fluffed the internal contents by turning it upside down as per manufacturer’s protocol. After putting out the fire, which was probably caused by his wife being in a rush and setting the diaper bag on the stove (true story), he would proceed to have his morning yogurt.

They say opposites attract. That may be true when love is new. Eventually opposites annoy.

Jack is like one of those lovely tourist trains that meander through the countryside on the Rick Steve’s European travel program on PBS. (Jack loves that show by the way…I never have time to watch it because I’m in a hurry). Jack enjoys the process; he doesn’t mind how long it takes to get from point A to point B. He enjoys the journey.

I, on the other hand, have too much to do. I have little use for the process; just give me the product. I’m like the Japanese bullet train that travels 275 mph. (What’s wrong with them that they can’t make it go faster?) Just get me from point A to point B as quickly as possible so I can check it off my list and move to the next item on my agenda.

Last year at family camp there was the opportunity to sign up for a pontoon boat ride. I was pregnant and couldn’t do many of the other activities so I figured I’d at least take some kids on the boat ride. I was miserable. What a whopper waste of my time. Sure I was interested in seeing the lake, but I didn’t need every angle with an explanation. I hate to be a downer, but I must say the east end of the lake looked pretty much the same as the west end. I would recommend that the ride be shortened from an hour down to about 10 minutes. At least send a motor boat out to get the bullet trains off the tour boat so we can get on with our lives.

This year I signed the kids up for the pontoon boat but put down Jack’s name instead of mine. I couldn’t afford the strain it would put on my vacation by having to sit idle on that blasted boat for an hour. I’m sure it will come as no surprise that Jack, AKA the tooling tourist train, had a grand time out on the lake.

Jack has been making his own drum set…for the past eleven or twelve years. At one point we had a large steel shallow container on the deck where he was going to heat water for steam bending wood. For the last several years he has asked for a gift certificate to a drum building web site for Christmas. He slowly purchases the items he’s interested in. Some of the hardware he bought has silver chrome on it and he prefers black. So, for the last two years or so he’s been researching how to remove the silver using some chemical reaction. And, he’s found someone willing to repaint them black for a reasonable price. Apparently there’s no rush to actually make any of this happen…he’s just enjoying the experience. I could also tell you about the large “spray booth” he built in the garage that was erected to give the drums the right finish. This structure took up about ¼ of our total garage space for about a year or more. I think it was large enough for him to have lived in…but I’m not suggesting that or anything.

In contrast, I sew. I can’t bring myself to say I “enjoy” sewing. What I enjoy is the end product. I made curtains for our kitchen. One afternoon I went and purchased the pattern, fabric and other needed supplies. That afternoon I cut out the pieces; then I stayed up until 2:00 in the morning sewing the curtains. If it wouldn’t have been completely out of line, I would have woken Jack up to come hang them right then and there. I restrained myself and waited until he woke up, showered, cleared his throat, blew his nose, got dressed, and ate his yogurt. Pretty nice of me, huh?

OK…I don’t know who actually has the bigger problem: the tourist train or the bullet train. They both serve a purpose, but can they peacefully coexist? I mean, can they share the same rails? Won’t the tourist train get in the way of the highly efficient bullet train? Will the speeding engine ruin the experience of the sightseeing train? I honestly wouldn’t wish to live in a world with exclusively one or the other…I don’t think. I like to believe that eventually one rubs off on the other resulting in each of us being more balanced. I’m not sure that’s happening.

I know as Jack’s wife that I’m called to be his helper (Gen. 2:18). So why do I get so aggravated when his weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa? Isn’t that a clear sign that those are the areas where God wants us to complement each other? The bullet train must learn to come alongside the tourist train and urge it forward without trying to make it into another bullet train. (After all, we already have one annoying bullet train.) In it’s urging, the bullet train must not run over the tourist train…not always an easy task.

“Therefore…I implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Eph. 4:1-3)

There you have it, the final word, God’s word. To walk worthy of Christ’s calling on our lives we must submit to one another. I’ve gotten pretty good at submitting on the outside, now I need to work on the inside. I don’t usually say anything while we’re driving up and down the parking isles looking for the “perfect” spot while passing by plenty of suitable ones on the way, but I wouldn’t want to see my blood pressure reading at that moment either.

My first thought was that maybe we should just have tandem rails that we ride on. You know, sometimes we’re side by side, but I’m not held up and he’s not rushed. We can do things our own way and just come together and get close enough for a high-five when it works out. It sounds easier that way, but anything easy is almost always code for “not God’s way.” God’s way of submitting to one another with patience, gentleness, and tolerance sounds tough. And it also sounds like He expects us to share the rails.

Alright, I admit it. I do like Rick Steve’s Europe program. The rolling countryside is charming and quaint. I dream of jetting off to Europe someday (hopefully in a super-sonic jet) and wandering around small historic villages and towns with the love of my life. Just please don’t buy me a ticket and stick me on one of those tourist-trap, slow-moving trains.